The Apple Store is your burger home away from home. Nestled next to Love Creek Orchards, The Apple Store serves up a lazy good burger. I don’t mean to say every worker there was lacking around, but this isn’t the place to go if you’re in a rush. Nevermind the detour, the Apple Store wants you to relax and take it easy and not check your emails every ten minutes to see if the world is actually falling apart without you. This burgertorium makes no apologies for taking it easy and for definitely not being fast food.

And is it worth it? All that god forbidden non-21st century analog undownloaded sit there?! Could it possibly be more burger zen than a good game of tap tap revenge and angry birds?

Yeah. ‘Cause it’s hot. And you’re in the middle of apple, Tx. So, whatever, relax. The decorum is as mom and pop apple pie as you can get- for reeeeeeeeelz. But you want it. And when your burger does show up you’ve soaked in a good two and a half decades of too adorable for words.

Now to the beef, right? I’ll admit, the bun’s a sweetie. If you’re ordering the the Spicy Pepper Jack burger then I definitely recommend going ” all the way” (wink) with the spicy jalapeño bun (even more awkward wink) which is actually the Sheila Partin’s jalapeño bun. Sure, Sheila. But really. The meat is crazy fresh, crazy delish, and crazy awesome. Your choice of cheese that comes nicely melted and a bag of chips and bam, a summer treat have you! Although you have to order the fries separate, the seasoning on those fried papas makes the separate order worth it. Beverages are free lemonade refills as well as tea and sodas available by the can.

So doublecheese says, sweet bun and awesome adventure warrant a nice plump 7.5. That sweet bun was a little tiresome, though, but Doublecheese will be returning for some more of that sweet country EAT IT.

Love Creek Orchards
State Highway 16 North
Medina, Texas 78055

Enter Willie’s Icehouse and Grill. A Dallas rooted chain that flowers fried greasy whatever. Willie’s has opened a nice burger and icehouse out in Leon Valley, not far from the original Rudy’s Bar-B-Que. Placed on the access road of I-10, Willie’s does an amazing job of blocking out the world. You can sit on the decently sized patio for hours and feel only the same pressure the man selling peaches from the back of his pick-up might feel.

Enough of the welcoming atmosphere. Now, the grub! My opener was Willie’s queso, specialized with taco meat, accompanied by a chunky salsa and thin, lightly salted chips. This appetizing cast, my friends, stole the show! Creamy queso and deliciously seasoned taco meat stand strongly alone. However, when you co-mingle the salsa, with the delicious other pair, you get an addictive dip. ADDICTIVE.

Into my second Blue Moon, poured in a fresh, frosted mug, my Hickory Burger arrived. The circumference on this burger was intimidating. The accenting BBQ sauce is definitely meant to be accented with a cold beer. The onions are cut and grilled to embrace both the sweet and sharp onion flavors. A strong taste that overtook all these flavors was the extremely well done patty. The center of the patty was cooked and tasted awesome, the outside tasted like the burnt crumble of meat that stayed on the grill all day.

The cheese, the beer, the queso- an amazingly deliciously meal. The burger, hard to enjoy. So, although I do recommend Willie’s for a peaceful patio and beer retreat, I need to say: make sure you request a medium well patty. So, the burger at a 5.7, I say Don’t Eat It! But feel free to drink and dip it all up!

Willie’s Grill & Icehouse
Leon Springs
24200 IH 10 W
Leon Springs, TX 78257
210-698-5337

The Malt House brings a tear to doublecheese’s eye and a thousand precious moments where Selena plays on a jukebox while burgers and black cows are inhaled. Thoughts of my Pa laughing and drinking beer, enjoying chips and salsa, enjoying the peoples and products of a 50 year tradition are still encompassed by this well known establishment. And although change is transforming this place, carhops are still running food out to parked cars and the latest trends can still be purchased from a lone vendor on the outside benches.

Situated on the cusp of the touristy San Antonio downtown area, with Mi Tierra’s and El Mercado blocks away and one of the few remaining operating Handy Andy’s a few blocks into the real heart of San Antonio, the Malt House is an icon to west San Antonians. An icon portrayed in Jesse Trevino’s recent exhibition on display at the Museo Alemada in 2009. The painter captures San Antonio’s distinct cultural flavor with simple honesty a restaurant that caters to the neighborhood it serves.

When you bite into a malt house burger you’ll want to compare it to a Whataburger, easy. But, a few bites in you’ll quickly realize the small differences. The cheese and mayo mingle so sweetly with the standard simple bun. The juices of the patty create a flavor that feels so classically cheeseburgery delicious. Adding ketchup to the jumbo cheeseburger gives the sweet mayo and cheese medley a hint of sour, a taste that highlights the patty in a new light.

Although you may go to a hundred chain burger restaurants and order the same burger, you’ll walk away with a different experience almost every time. The Malt House has been serving the same burger and experience for over 50 years. A diner experience of a waitress that may not speak English fluently. An experience peppered with live mariachis and street vendors selling bracelets decorated with saints or keychains hand braided with a note of a deaf person’s prayer. I recommend this eatery to true San Antonians who understand the culture of the hard working class.

The prices are unbelievably affordable in a time where a $10 burger is becoming the standard. The service is fast and friendly. Revisions have definitely changed the once brown and tan building, but carhops are still available if you “leave your lights on.” It may never be the best burger in town, but it will be the burger place for generations to come. The place where families can leave full for under $20 bucks. I give the burger a 7.5. However, because I was raised on this burger, it will always be a 10 to me. So, Eat It!

Malt House
115 S Zarzamora St
San Antonio, TX 78207
(210) 433-8441

My burger voyage will now take you to a trendy dive off Wurzbach and IH10, orderup^. This place markets itself as a fine pizzeria, taqueria, and burgeria, which is very cool until you say burgeria so many times that it sounds like something else -arrhea (sick, sick, sick).

Now walking into this hip little place makes guests feel free and new and excited. There’s a world of opportunity out there of Spanish/ Italian/ American choices. Choices that ultimately will cost you! Veggies climb as high as $1, Cheeses at 75 cents, and additional meats (including a fried egg) escalate to $1. So if we start with your basic burger at 4.95 for lettuce, tomato, pickle, onion and a butter toasted seedless bun and want to grow from there- well just try and stay within your burger budget is all.

My resultant burger was expensively impressive. Add grilled peppers, guacamole, and jack cheese atop your basic burger foundation and voila a tres tastey very dressed up burger. Now, I kinda really liked this place. There’s mint to put in your tea or lemonade and you look so cool hanging out in a place in San Antonio that not only has live muic but also has an improv troupe perform there. But when I picked up my burger the bun was cold to the touch (gross) and yeah the guacamole was really awesome, but that was a large part of my driving to the end of the burger. Not the meat, or the (applied to liberally) grilled peppers. Infact, I even flipped the bun off my burger and fished out the guacamole with a chip (which was satisfying). The salsa was pretty friendly, not too spicy. The service was awesome, the restaurant is clean, and there’s a nice patio with outdoor seating.

I’ll probably go back and not order a burger. Pizza, perhaps, and the boy at the register highly recommended the tacos. But a burger, I’ll probably go a cheaperelsewhere. So, Orderup^ i give you a 6.0 and say pass on the eat it.

OrderUp
9873 IH-10 W
San Antonio, TX 78230
(210) 877-0007

Perhaps it’s not enough to have the cheeseburger inside us, but to wear the cheeseburger proudly on the outside. Minus the 100% beef, plus cotton, and we might just have a deal. This shirt was actually the first in my growing Cheeseburger garb collection. Designed by Matt Palmer and available on Threadless for 18 dollar-menu burgers ($18) it’s a little pervy, maybe that’s ’cause it’s entirely true. Either/or. If it doesn’t turn you on then that’s a deal breaker for me, suckerrrrrrrrrrRRRrrr!

I am going to introduce you, if you aren’t already familiar, with San Antonio burger royalty. Chris Madrid’s. This is a San Antonio right of passage. In this institution you won’t find a health loving, better-life burger that will leave you ready to embrace a healthy green future. What you will find is a burger that does not apologize for anything that burgers exist for. Cheese. Meat. Butter-toasted buns. Circumference. Grease. Good God the grease!

Yes, Chris Madrids was omitted from Texas Monthly’s 50 Best Burgers in Texas. Yeah, it somewhat goes against my “just right burger-size,” what am i talking about, Chris Madrids obliterates that. But what you need to understand is that there is something entirely magical about what the cheese is doing. It’s beyond sex, it is cheese globs sblobbing and drobbling all over your sweet little face. If you even make it half way through this beast, you can consider your burger-innocence completely and thoroughly BURGERED. And even if you ever do stop making out with the cheese ( i never did), there’s a patty there that never went understated. Made on a grill that has seen its share of San Antonio times, that patty wants you to want it. This place is a staple, a must, a always come back, a best memory for sure.

Originally opened as a burger and taco establishment by a University of Texas Marketing graduate in 1977, the tacos were soon phased out by the awesomeness of the burgers. The menu is pretty simple with six headlining burgers that come in two sizes: regular and MACHO. A beastly chicken sandwich, chalupas, nachos and fries round up the menu with a very inviting bar located on the other side of the restaurant.

I went for the regular Cheddar Cheesy minus the onions. While other members of the burger team pledged an undying loyalty to the Tostada Burger. As you can see, eating this burger isn’t a clean event. I was privy to witness my burger comrades eating the Tostada Burger two different ways. The successful method being an approach that treats the burger as a pizza, or perhaps that famous Latin cuisine: Tostada. Kyle Pippin, in a moment of Tostada burger completion ecstasy stated the event was definitely “Intercourse inducing” (weirdly true). While the fries are subpar, I’ve had encounters with the nachos that are other wordly.

There’s always a line. You might always have to have half your party scouting for a table while the other half waits in line and orders. There’s an atmosphere that tells you you’re eating somewhere that means something to San Antonians. And it does. The burgers do. A section on the Chris Madrid’s site allows for personal stories. There you’ll find 98 stories of testament to the institution. You need to go eat at Chris Madrids. EAT IT- because it’s a 9. Eat it ’cause your arteries want it.

Chris Madrid’s Nachos and Burgers
1900 Blanco Rd
San Antonio, TX 78212

My first burger stop was a chain that is expanding wildly and tastily. Five Guys Burger and Fries is the proprietor of one of my favorite burgers (Slagosaurus, we were gonna get married and make out all the time together, but then i ate him) and although the San Antonio Five Guys at the Quarry was a bit of a disappointment, I still had fond memories. As my first burger in New York, I give it thumbs up up up and up. Twas delicious and I stand by my recommendation to one and all.

Shake Shack. A burger place that has it’s own iPhone app, deserves it. This burger felt great going down, fresh, organic, and simple. In a big concrete town, this burger makes you feel at home. Crinkle cut fries are absolutely delicious. Shake Shack gets thumbs up, hands down, it’s too legit.

And here comes another fast food chain lounge, wait, what? Lounge? Pop Burger is the answer to your need to be too New York cool and still satisfy my burger craving needs. Why? Because it’s a pop culture cool lounge that serves drinks and gets freaky, and it also serves little pops of burgers. I say watch out, those onion rings are not right. But every other poppin’ thing is just that- POP! Burger!

And now a New York upper east side establishment that keeps the yups on a comin’, J.G. Melon. The first thing I smelt in this place, the bar-b-que sauce. It smelt like sex. I infact twittered, while waiting the 45 minute wait in the ultra-cramp spaced: “Waiting@ jg melon for a table. Burgers smell like bacon/cheese/BBQ sauce & beef met @ a gay club and got weird w/ eachother. In a good way.” And it did! And all the tight warm space and the suits and the ritz and whatever else was totally worth it because that burger was sooooo rad. Added a side bbq sauce and got busy. Yelp has it listed as a $$ ( that’s a double chaching), and i guess it is, but man that sauce was spectacular and this burger in this fine New York establishment won my heartbelly.

Other than the burgers there wasn’t too many great things in New York and so I’d really suggest just going for the burgers. YEAH RIGHT. Go to New York and EAT IT in that glorious beautiful awesome place! or else.

Gourmet burgers seems almost oxymoronic.  Do i have to put a tie on for this? Is my burger putting on airs? Why is my burger of a better social class than me? My voyage to the Gourmet Burger Grill off of I-10 and Huebner  in San Antonio forced me to face the idea that my burger should be eaten by Tim Gunn and not by a plebeian such as I. However, one look at the appetizer: Fried Macaroni and Cheese Wedges, and I knew I was probably going to be okay.

The array of options, burger artistry, and plethora of ingredients definitely help you realize what burger ball-game you’re in.  They also make you double-take the prices and realize these special ingredients are worth more than your dollar menu burger. Honestly though, Gourmet Burger Grill creates an atmosphere in which guests can be ready to truly enjoy their burger any which way they choose.  Beverage choices include a line-up of some pretty fine beers and some pretty ritzy wines as well as a self-serve soda fountain and tea.

While i did wander in on a pretty easy lull on a Saturday the staff took this as an opportunity to shine! Every member was more than ready to assist us and Chef Mike Davis was on site helping us with a pride that was exciting to see in the man behind my burger.

A quick note before the burger: I was impressed with the the macaroni wedges. Love. Love. Love. Dip em in ketchup, or ranch, or honeymustard, or don’t. Just definitely give em a try if you’re feeling extra chubby! Also the crinkle cut fries were a pretty spectacular tasty and they also offer the healthier and sweeter option of sweet potato fries.

I decided on the Caprese Burger, coincidentally, the same burger as The San Antonio Burger Blogger.  However, our point of view is at odds. I can see how the simplicity of the burger, the somewhat delicateness of the olive oil, fresh basil, and thickly cut and amazingly fresh tomato are an asset.  Simple enough composition to completely compliment the amazing quality of the patty, composed of Certified Angus Beef and fire grilled. Chef Davis did inform us that when ordering at the Gourmet Burger Grill, a well done patty will often lose it’s juices, making devourers miss the quality and care in the meat. I had a medium well that was cooked to perfection, juicy and seasoned so well I definitely felt the passion put towards this creation. However, the burger selection I chose, Caprese, was a little too bland for my taste.  The cheese, tomatoes, and basil were fresh and spectacular, but I expect a burger to have a little more attitude.  This burger was a little too uptown new yorker sipping on a cape cod and not enough spizzazz! Other menu items definitely bent the burger norms such as a Crab Cake Burger and an Ahi Tuna Burger. However I must say, my choice, perhaps wrong for myself, left me wishing I had ordered one of those delicious fellows.

I do recommend you give it a try if you have the bank. I trust and believe in what Chef Davis is doing. While I can’t wait to return, I definitely have to give the Caprese burger a slightly boring 6.5. With that said Eat It when you feel fancy.

Gourmet Burger Grill
11224 Huebner Rd Suite 206
San Antonio, TX 78230
Phone: 210 558 9200 Fax: 210 558 9203
Hours: Sun-Thurs. 11-9 Fri-Sat 11-10

This post is hot and fresh just like the newest Smashburger in San Antonio on Potranco near 151. Opening to the masses today, I was luckily invited to a sneak peak lunch yesterday and sized the spanking new burger place up.

I’ve definity heard some of the buzz around Smashburger, a clever franchise that has the support of a well made marketing campaign that is hip and exciting. But all the hype could be another false fame to claim. I needed to see if the burger fulfilled the design. So yesterday for lunch i went to smash me some tasty, and I was not disappointed.

Ordering the BBQ bacon and cheese burger on an egg bun, and deviously adding a fried egg on it, I stared the cashier in the eye and added a Rootbeer float to my order. This was going to be a big lunch. Smash fries on the side and all I had to do was wait patiently for my order to arrive. The general manager, Toby, was kind enough to help with any burger questions and informed me of the reasoning behind the egg bun. Apparently, the burgers are so delectably juicy that the egg bun is necessary to help embrace those juices and insure that guests are able to savor every flavor these burgers have to offer.

My rootbeer float was a scrumptious old school concoction that featured bottled IBC rootbeer and a pretty creamy and smooth vanilla ice cream. Comrads at the table who ordered the chocolate shake on the menu were slightly disappointed in the stingy use of the chocolate syrup in said shakes. Some beer and burger people will be pleased to know that Smash serves beer and wine with a bucket of 4 beers coming in at $9.99, pretty fair deal if I do say so myself. But now the main event.

My BBQ burger did not disappoint the hype. The egg was perfectly fried, the crispy onion straws swimming in the BBQ sauce, and that extra sexy applewood bacon all contributed to an amazing combination. Although, if you prefer your bacon crispy I suggest you request that at the register. Also, the BBQ sauce on their burgers is nothing short of amazing. I definitely recommend this burger to everyone! I cannot wait to go back and try any of the other exciting burgers on the menu. I will say that the smashfries are pretty tasty, however are seasoned a little too heavy in some areas. The regular fries are a safer bet, lightly salted and a better quality version of America’s favorite fry. Beside those small details, the patty, the bun and the BBQ sauce make an incredible experience for your taste buds. The excitement and energy of the hosts make this place a new establishment that wants to please their guests. Although perhaps a little too eager, I’m sure that was a first day jitters kind of deal and will ease up.

Smashburger I give you an impressive 8.5 and can’t wait to return to you soon. Thanks everyone for a great experience and the free meal! Hugs, kisses, and all my <3, EAT IT!

SmashBurger
Potranco Rd. & 151 Access Rd
8802 Potranco Road
San Antonio, Texas 78245